Things are harder for the living
Than Bukowski
He died with a name already
While we have to battle hurricanes
And glaciers melting
Too many feel entitled
Because of history and cellular devices
I don’t even know
Where this poem is going
Just like the government
Does not want to spend any money
On outer space
Trees are actually the smartest
They have feelings but don’t cause trouble
Why only birds care for them
Is beyond me still
All I know is right now
Things are harder for the living
Than they are for Bukowski.
More like the Maybe
I feel more like
the maybe
I will
than the yes,
I will
I was in more of a hurry
to get dressed
this morning
than I have ever been
to find meanings
Can’t tell if this
feature of myself
is genius
or laziness speaking
via actions
Maybe,
both.
HOME
I hated living barely alone
So alone even with someone
So I moved back home
Right now I feel dumb
Like a break of progression
was intentional to myself, for me
because of being too needy
So now I live at this home
So loud here with a 180 pound dog
and my mom
Parents are not quiet
Nor should they be, all the time
Can’t decide what to do
with my life
That goes for anywhere
Knifing away in the present to slow down
The future
Feeling so unstable
So many big answers unknown
So I had this crazy thought
I’ll just move back home
Touch roots
and feel somehow grounded
By too many revelations
They come from the past
That is known and I’m over it
Present themselves as shadows
in my childhood room
Who says you can’t be reborn
Twice in the same life?
Just move back home
Then leave.
You’ll see.
Those becoming moments in life
You’re becoming one of mine
My heart is split
Nope
My mind is fucked
My heart whole
Memories and things
if they even happened
Subliminal messages
or just old news again
In my head
My vision split
Two eyes too many
Maybe just ripped
Tiny little bits
they’re never changing
Nope
A someday healer
If by getting better
you mean still living
Sure.
Dark blue afternoon
Window drapes
I can see you
Lost escapes
Outside of my window
So original, no
but you are
Forever
An angel
of my imagination
You dance all the time
Floating above everyone
If only,
you could be held
I’d be happy.
I just spit on my deck
It is only mucus
and it doesn’t hurt anyone
Fears linger because
I let that happen
Cares are different
I don’t have them
Spring is springing
as if it never has before
To the deck floor boards
I feel grounded
Like this is the time
I change
One day of this weather
and my soul comes dragging back to me
It resembles a reluctant old lover
that wants more
Come soul,
and feel the hot temperatures
Feel the sun like no one else is
even if they are
Spit on the deck
but only if you have to
and soul,
find me then keep passing
Let’s beat the warm weather
and find a new direction
Champagne
in the living room
means you can watch hillbillies on tv,
sports, or brain surgery
while imbibing
is still in style.
Like nails down my carpet
At first I felt nothing
Until you were on top of me
Then, I felt fate
